Are wives (or husbands...) that bad?

[DavidR8]

I enjoy her companionship. We have many things in common, and activities we like doing together that bring us joy, but at the same time, need our own hobbies, our own spaces, and our own pursuits that bring us happiness without the other person involved. We are not always on the same page about everything, but we 100% on the same page about that.

This 100%!

 

[Former Member]

This topic falls under

 

[Everett]

I'm thankful that I have a supportive wife for my metal cutting and tinkering addiction. She's a nurse, and has had too many patients come in severely banged up on motorbikes, so I'm not "allowed" a bike (she wouldn't disown me if I got one though). However, financial aspects in consideration, she pretty much lets me watch unimpeded for equipment deals, hit auctions for shop-related stuff, and is genuinely interested in seeing what comes out of the shop. Most of what I have was collected a few years ago when we had fewer expenses so I have slowed up in buying big stuff a bit. I just jokingly call her my "Cheap Financial Officer," she's actually quite reasonable.

I subscribe to the "Red Green Philosophy" (If the women don't find you handsome, at least they'll find you handy) and it's worked out for me so far, lol.

 

[ShawnR]

If there were a portmanteau word that combined pathetic and genius, this would be a good occasion to use it.

I had to google "portmanteau" but yes, that works! Good one!

 

[BMW Rider]

I'm one of the lucky ones. My wife doesn't care what hobbies I spend my money on so long as it keeps me out of the house and her way while she's working from home. She actually tells me I need to spend more money cause I'm retired and don't need to build more savings (she's a Financial Planner so who am I to question).

 

[Doggggboy]

I had to google "portmanteau" but yes, that works! Good one!

Pathenius, maybe?

 

[Susquatch]

On a more serious note, she mostly loves my shop not for what it is but rather for what it could be. Rental weddings, showers, Tupperware parties, lingerie parties, etc. etc. Once in a while I come home from a day trip and find that she has done just that to my break room (20x40 kitchen, rest area, office space walled off if one end with a mezzanine for electrical/electronics and storage above it). She will hang girl stuff from the ceiling, put table cloths and doilies on the work surfaces, wash the floor, and throw important things away. I hate this behaviour of hers. My daughter thinks I should kill something big like a deer and hang it in there just before the party people arrive.....

The rest of my shop is waaaayyyy too messy for her liking. She often volunteers to clean that up too which is always STRONGLY vetoed.

She walks her talk though. She keeps the house soooo clean that you can literally eat off the floor. All extremely well organized and artfully/tastefully decorated.

We were 50yrs last year so I really can't complain.

 

[ShawnR]

I'm thankful that I have a supportive wife for my metal cutting and tinkering addiction. She's a nurse, and has had too many patients come in severely banged up on motorbikes, so I'm not "allowed" a bike (she wouldn't disown me if I got one though). However, financial aspects in consideration, she pretty much lets me watch unimpeded for equipment deals, hit auctions for shop-related stuff, and is genuinely interested in seeing what comes out of the shop. Most of what I have was collected a few years ago when we had fewer expenses so I have slowed up in buying big stuff a bit. I just jokingly call her my "Cheap Financial Officer," she's actually quite reasonable.

I subscribe to the "Red Green Philosophy" (If the women don't find you handsome, at least they'll find you handy) and it's worked out for me so far, lol.

I have similarities to most here, especially @Everett, short of interest in what comes out of the shop, mostly. She is not a "shop" girl but "lets me" do pretty much do what I want, although with the usual gripe, but she comes around, eventually. I think that is what she was saying,,,I was not listening...

I think she has learned that if she waits it out, the phase will pass and I will be onto some other new obsession.

The motorcycle phase was the most serious. She is ok with airplanes but hated bikes and I bought one, and then 2 more. It was chilly for a couple of weeks but she came around. Her mother loved it though, much more of a daring person, so it was hard for management to stay mad. And they were eventually sold, motorbikes, not the girls.

I count myself as very very lucky! Like everything, good research was key in finding her a quarter century ago....

 

[CalgaryPT]

Pathenius, maybe?

Good one. Plus it sounds like the Greek God of female manipulation.

We should probably sacrifice a lamb or something, you know...just to be safe.

 

[Crosche]

My wife is very supportive of my hobby and doesn't mind me spending time in the shop as long as I don't ignore family or household duties. I have been trying to get my kids into the shop more and more. They have helped me do some small blacksmithing projects and I am trying to give them a basic understanding of measuring tools and how to safely operate the shop equipment, starting with the lathe.

 

[kevin.decelles]

It's chess, not checkers. I spent the last 25 years seeding and encouraging my wife to have hobbies..... which she has latched on to. Then the hard part -- looking away at the financial spend for her, and helping her out with the manual labor to ensure she succeeds (rennovations, work-tables etc.). Outside of my TV room downstairs, the entire house is hers.... She has overtaken 3 rooms for aquariums, calligraphy, card-making, yoga studio etc...... And my shop(s) are mine.

The more I put in, the more I get out so to speak. The key to this arrangement is equality in the areas of time and money. Every dollar made available for the shop is made available for her hobbies (which includes travel....). I'm creeping up on retirement and look forward to putting some serious time in the shop(s) -- all the while taking comfort in knowing she will be busy with her own areas of interest.

I have no complaints I guess

 

[Canadium]

On a more serious note, she mostly loves my shop not for what it is but rather for what it could be. Rental weddings, showers, Tupperware parties, lingerie parties, etc. etc. Once in a while I come home from a day trip and find that she has done just that to my break room (20x40 kitchen, rest area, office space walled off if one end with a mezzanine for electrical/electronics and storage above it). She will hang girl stuff from the ceiling, put table cloths and doilies on the work surfaces, wash the floor, and throw important things away. I hate this behaviour of hers. My daughter thinks I should kill something big like a deer and hang it in there just before the party people arrive.....

The rest of my shop is waaaayyyy too messy for her liking. She often volunteers to clean that up too which is always STRONGLY vetoed.

She walks her talk though. She keeps the house soooo clean that you can literally eat off the floor. All extremely well organized and artfully/tastefully decorated.

We were 50yrs last year so I really can't complain.

Early on we reached an equitable agreement on which space was hers and which was mine. I conceded a spare bedroom to her while I got the garage and the unfinished basement. She had little interest in either the garage space or the basement anyways so we were both happy with the arrangement. We are both tolerant of minor incursions into each others space but that never seems to get out of hand.

 

[CalgaryPT]

... We are both tolerant of minor incursions into each others space but that never seems to get out of hand.

LOL. This cracks me up. Sounds like an airspace negotiation...

 

[Chicken lights]

It's chess, not checkers. I spent the last 25 years seeding and encouraging my wife to have hobbies..... which she has latched on to. Then the hard part -- looking away at the financial spend for her, and helping her out with the manual labor to ensure she succeeds (rennovations, work-tables etc.). Outside of my TV room downstairs, the entire house is hers.... She has overtaken 3 rooms for aquariums, calligraphy, card-making, yoga studio etc...... And my shop(s) are mine.

The more I put in, the more I get out so to speak. The key to this arrangement is equality in the areas of time and money. Every dollar made available for the shop is made available for her hobbies (which includes travel....). I'm creeping up on retirement and look forward to putting some serious time in the shop(s) -- all the while taking comfort in knowing she will be busy with her own areas of interest.

I have no complaints I guess

Friend of mine has a somewhat confusing theory that a relationship is an 80/20 split. Basically both people need to put in 80% of the work for two reasons, somedays one or both people might come up a bit short, and if they’re only expecting 20% they’re happy when they get 40%. Don’t ask me on the math he’s tried explaining it to me a couple times

It’s confusing but it echos your “the more you put in the more you get back” sentiment

 

[SomeGuy]

Friend of mine has a somewhat confusing theory that a relationship is an 80/20 split. Basically both people need to put in 80% of the work for two reasons, somedays one or both people might come up a bit short, and if they’re only expecting 20% they’re happy when they get 40%. Don’t ask me on the math he’s tried explaining it to me a couple times

It’s confusing but it echos your “the more you put in the more you get back” sentiment

Growing up my dad had a 51/49% rule....basically was trying to say always give a little more than you take. Similar idea.

 

[Susquatch]

Growing up my dad had a 51/49% rule....basically was trying to say always give a little more than you take. Similar idea.

I call that always leaving the park cleaner than you found it.

 

[Tomc938]

My wife is great! Doesn't give me grief about the time or money spent on my plethora of hobbies. She even does a pretty good job of even being excited when I show her my latest project. She even is interested in what I end up making - even if it just a really nice finish on something very simple.

And I reciprocate.

 

[YotaBota]

We support each other in whatever endevour the other chooses to pursue although.......... the last time my other half decided to help organize the shop was about 5 years ago and I still can't find half of my sh_t.
When I was shopping for a new chop saw I was looking at the 10" variety, she looked at me and said" why don't you get the bigger one", at which point the sales guy looked at me and said "does she have a sister?"lol

 

[Brent H]

We should probably sacrifice a lamb or something, you know...just to be safe.

@CalgaryPT : I made the pilgrimage to Calgary from Ontario and spent some days in what would be considered Canadian dessert, (Saskatchewan highway) - my wife supported that mission and was the catalyst for its purpose. I consider things to be quite amicable here . As well she thinks the meet & greet is a super cool plan once Covid is less concerning.

 

[CalgaryPT]

@CalgaryPT : I made the pilgrimage to Calgary from Ontario and spent some days in what would be considered Canadian dessert, (Saskatchewan highway) - my wife supported that mission and was the catalyst for its purpose. I consider things to be quite amicable here . As well she thinks the meet & greet is a super cool plan once Covid is less concerning.

I'm so sorry I was not able to meet you Brent. Hopefully next time we can throw you an Alberta BBQ and hear stories of the sea. Always nice to have the wife's support right?