Daily struggles with Ableism

[DPittman]

I also don't get the "phone calls only" people, they made an add on Kijiji or marketplace....clearly they can read and use computers so why are emails or texts a problem

I think some feel phone calls eliminate some of the tire kickers and spammers.

 

[phaxtris]

I think some feel phone calls eliminate some of the tire kickers and spammers.

ah there are plenty that call and waste your time, heck there are plenty that actually come by and waste your time...

I would rather just ignore an email than have someone waste 20 minutes of my time jabbering on the phone

I also find it easier to communicate details via text/email, and of course there is a nice history of the conversation.....makes trying to remember all the little details much easier

I dont have any major hearing problems, i just dont like talking on the phone, i never have.

 

[Dan Dubeau]

Some people are just terrible at technology, and a phone call where you can communicate better works better for them.

I prefer phone calls for hashing out stuff with customers at work, then follow up with an email to confirm the important details and establish the paper trail....that comes in handy sometimes. I'm hard of hearing and phone calls are difficult sometimes, but sometimes it's the best way. This newer generation of engineers I deal with prefer all emails though, and phone calls end up in me calling them, leaving a message, only to be sent an email right away, and then sending 20 emails back and forth trying to establish what exactly it is that they want.....When A 2 minute phone conversation would have cleared it all up from the start.....Just pick up the damn phone and talk to me.......Email has it's place, so does real time conversation.

I do notice people are slowly losing the ability to communicate in real time without a screen interface though...

 

[TorontoBuilder]

Some people are just terrible at technology, and a phone call where you can communicate better works better for them.

I prefer phone calls for hashing out stuff with customers at work, then follow up with an email to confirm the important details and establish the paper trail....that comes in handy sometimes. I'm hard of hearing and phone calls are difficult sometimes, but sometimes it's the best way. This newer generation of engineers I deal with prefer all emails though, and phone calls end up in me calling them, leaving a message, only to be sent an email right away, and then sending 20 emails back and forth trying to establish what exactly it is that they want.....When A 2 minute phone conversation would have cleared it all up from the start.....Just pick up the damn phone and talk to me.......Email has it's place, so does real time conversation.

I do notice people are slowly losing the ability to communicate in real time without a screen interface though...

There is a difference between people's preference and their plain refusal to accommodate a disability. Sadly it is more a norm that people resist accommodating others unless they know them well.

It's my perhaps cynical belief that most people think you're lying about the disability. In my case the person just said callously "have someone call for you"... like I'm a child or something. Many hearing impaired persons dont have someone who can call for them. That's my point in trying to educate people in this regard.

Imagine when more people dont want to talk on the phone and start saying text me of get lost

 

[Dabbler]

In some cases, a person asking to talk on the phone is a needful accommodation for a different disability. People with high functioning autism need to hear the nuance provided by a phone call to determine assumed social cues. A blanket insistence on a phone call hints at just this problem.

Having an intermediary can mask what the seller might be looking for, but even hearing tone of conversation in the background can provide assurance.

It might well that he is being an ass, He might have a chip on his shoulder from tire-kickers. But he might need the comfort of hearing the tonality before committing to the far more socially risky situation, a face-to-face encounter.

But since he is the seller he gets to set the rules. As a buyer, you are fully entitled to define what you can or will put up with. No harm or foul on either side if they the conditions are ireconcilable.

 

[TorontoBuilder]

In some cases, a person asking to talk on the phone is a needful accommodation for a different disability. People with high functioning autism need to hear the nuance provided by a phone call to determine assumed social cues. A blanket insistence on a phone call hints at just this problem.

Having an intermediary can mask what the seller might be looking for, but even hearing tone of conversation in the background can provide assurance.

It might well that he is being an ass, He might have a chip on his shoulder from tire-kickers. But he might need the comfort of hearing the tonality before committing to the far more socially risky situation, a face-to-face encounter.

But since he is the seller he gets to set the rules. As a buyer, you are fully entitled to define what you can or will put up with. No harm or foul on either side if they the conditions are ireconcilable.

I was the first and only one to contact him one minute after the ad was posted.

He just couldn't be bothered being the middleman for his boss. That was very clear....yet everyone always looks for excuses for such behaviour... because we dont want to believe society is filled with you know whats

 

[Dabbler]

I try to find the best in people (and brace for the worst), even those I find distasteful. Sometimes you are pleasantly surprised. And then it is worth many disappointments.

 

[TorontoBuilder]

I try to find the best in people (and brace for the worst), even those I find distasteful. Sometimes you are pleasantly surprised. And then it is worth many disappointments.

well I would too if the seller wasn't selling over priced 1240 rex-cut lathe in poor condition

 

[phaxtris]

He just couldn't be bothered being the middleman for his boss.

This is part of the reason I see a lot...Wich I also don't understand, by making the add the person has already set themselves up to be the middleman, if you don't want to be a middle man don't get involved right ?

@Dabbler has good points, I never considered autism may be the reason, I also agree, the seller gets to set the rules for contact, but if both parties are motivated a compromise should be possible

I don't think people are loosing the ability to communicate without a screen, I think people are busy, and a phone call needs to be addressed *NOW* vs when you may actually have time to give it the proper attention. I also believe phone calls give a lot of people anxiety, making or taking them, and I don't think that is new, it's just that now emails and texts are accepted forms of communication.

 

[TorontoBuilder]

This is part of the reason I see a lot...Wich I also don't understand, by making the add the person has already set themselves up to be the middleman, if you don't want to be a middle man don't get involved right ?

@Dabbler has good points, I never considered autism may be the reason, I also agree, the seller gets to set the rules for contact, but if both parties are motivated a compromise should be possible

I don't think people are loosing the ability to communicate without a screen, I think people are busy, and a phone call needs to be addressed *NOW* vs when you may actually have time to give it the proper attention. I also believe phone calls give a lot of people anxiety, making or taking them, and I don't think that is new, it's just that now emails and texts are accepted forms of communication.

of course from another point of view dabblers post makes me feel guilty for not thinking better of the person or accommodating their potential undeclared disability. We see this all the time like it's our fault and we should just shut up and take it... I can't recall the name there is for this... lemme think

 

[Darren]

I rarely sell anything because I don't like dealing with Kijidiots. I don't post my phone number, but after a few messages back and forth, either come buy it, or call me for more details. Too much time wasted going back and forth with people. I will edit this with some screenshots to back this up

Trying to sell my wifes Envoy. Bought her a new SUV and just wanted this one gone. I was in the middle of building my shop and didn't want to deal with it. I listed it at 1500 and dealt with idiots like this:

Raised the price to 3k and sold for 2600 the same day.

 

[TorontoBuilder]

I rarely sell anything because I don't like dealing with Kijidiots. I don't post my phone number, but after a few messages back and forth, either come buy it, or call me for more details. Too much time wasted going back and forth with people. I will edit this with some screenshots to back this up

I get it.

That's why I initiate contact, explain exactly what I need to know in order to make an informed decision on whether the item(s) meet my threshold for a site visit and potential purchase.

If you can be bothered to write one reply you're not worth the time. If you can be bothered I reward you with my interest and immediately trying to book a time, or getting info to send payment immediately

 

[Darren]

I'm usually pretty patient, and if someone claimed a hearing impairment, i'll text all day, but on a lathe maybe...not on a, for example, 20 dollar cruise-a-day tank i was basically giving away and took 200 messages to sell.

 

[140mower]

I'm way more conscious about protecting my hearing now than I used to be. It's one of those things that sneaks up on you, and it's too late to do anything about damage by the time you notice it. I lost a lot when I worked at GM next to the stamping plant, plus working in shops since. Being half in the office, half floor all the time is difficult to be diligent about wearing hearing protection as its "I'm just running out to change a tool/part" and coming back in. Wearing them at a desk is annoying, but I just bought some 3m bluetooth muffs and they are amazing. I wear those a lot more now, than I used to wear anything. I've never regretted money spent on safety gear.

I've been using 3m worktunes for over a decade now..... Highly recommend, especially now that Bluetooth is an option.

 

[TorontoBuilder]

Yeah that is way too much.

I dont ever respond to ads about trades because they people posting can't be bothered to be specific and want you to list everything you have one item at a time to see if they want it...

Asking the few items the truck needs, fine. anything more is too much unless it is to say when can I come

 

[Darren]

yea, thats just an example of why i prefer calls. However, I did call the guy and did not block my number and he called me several times to try to work it out.

 

[DPittman]

I rarely sell anything because I don't like dealing with Kijidiots. I don't post my phone number, but after a few messages back and forth, either come buy it, or call me for more details. Too much time wasted going back and forth with people. I will edit this with some screenshots to back this up

Trying to sell my wifes Envoy. Bought her a new SUV and just wanted this one gone. I was in the middle of building my shop and didn't want to deal with it. I listed it at 1500 and dealt with idiots like this:View attachment 28650View attachment 28651View attachment 28652View attachment 28653View attachment 28654View attachment 28655View attachment 28656View attachment 28657View attachment 28658View attachment 28659View attachment 28660View attachment 28661View attachment 28662View attachment 28663

Raised the price to 3k and sold for 2600 the same day.

Yup that sort of assh$le sure makes it unpleasant, I was even mad reading about it.

 

[phaxtris]

@Darren that whole thing reads like a big ol' scam to me, he got all pissy when you didn't fall for it, good thing you f'd him off

I do a fair bit of Kijiji/marketplace deals, lots of scammers, I almost as a rule stay away from trades..... especially when it comes to vehicles...there is a reason the trade is so good...it's stolen or its a total basket case

 

[Darren]

I just wanted to present a side from a sellers perspective.

Another one:

Last year I was going to sell my Acura RSX since I wasn't driving it, and wanted to get 3500 safetied for it. Guy messages, asks for address and time, shows up likes it, say I'll take it, and hands me $350 for a deposit, and he'll be back the next day. About 15 minutes after he leaves, he texts me says 'I can't buy the car, keep the deposit. Sorry' . So i text him back, told him shit happens, come back and get your deposit as i had 20 other kijidiots blowing up my phone. He totally ghosted me after that. Zero contact again. WTF???

After dealing with every other kind of moron on kijiji, I put the plates back on it and started driving it.

 

[DavidR8]

@Darren you are waaay more patient than me!